Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's the barista slut.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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