his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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