It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
