Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
