Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
