I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
