I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
