I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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