YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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