Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
