How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
