i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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