My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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