I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
