how can u be prego again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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