you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
