I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
