If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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