you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
