There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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