The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
