do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
