i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
