So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
