How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
