Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
