Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
