he shaved USA in his pubs
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
