Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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