she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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