Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
