lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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