So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
