your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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