The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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