it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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