I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
