The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
