Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
