that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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