Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
