At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
