yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize