dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
