She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
