you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake š
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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