we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
