Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
