I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
