So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wear drunk well.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
