fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
